This will be written in two parts. I really wanted to live-blog it, but due to happy un-interrupted family time this weekend, I didn’t blog a durn thing.

So pretend it’s Friday.

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When I was pregnant with her, I had no idea I was going to breastfeed. When I did decide to nurse, I knew the recommendation was to go a full year. However, the thought of a nursing child old enough to walk made me doubt.

One year later, I couldn’t imagine quitting.

Olivia was (and is!) a high-need little girl. Nursing calmed her down. Nursing was her band-aid. She never fought bedtime or naptime because it was Nursing Time. She has never been very affectionate; nursing was how she hugged.

By her first birthday, I was looking for any excuse to keep going. The World Health Organization gave it to me here. “Two years of age or beyond.” So despite funny looks from knowing friends and family, we still nursed.

Also around her first birthday, I got pregnant with her little brother. After extensive research, I found that nursing while pregnant does not harm the unborn child. The milk diminished; the belly grew; Olivia persisted.

No pregnant mother would want to wean a strong-willed, high-need toddler. Pregnancy brings its own little complications to life (the inability to bend over!), and tending to the tantrums of a weaned-against-her-will toddler was not one I wanted to add to the list.

All throughout my pregnancy with Benjamin, I researched the possibility of nursing two children at once. (Breastfeeding mothers of twins are laughing at me). I had never heard of nursing two non-twin children at the same time. If I would have come across this topic two years prior, I would have raised my eyebrows and backed away slowly. There aren’t many that daydream during pregnancy of nursing a toddler, let alone a toddler and a newborn. But when I reached the point where I had to decide to wean or keep going, Olivia just didn’t seem ready to wean. So we kept going.

It turns out there is a name for this craziness: Tandem Nursing. Yes, it is possible. Yes, it is safe. Yes, come March 29, 2007, it was the route I chose.

And there were days when Tandem Nursing saved my sanity. When Olivia was having a high-need day, I knew just how to calm us both down. I didn’t have to decide between a screaming baby and a screaming toddler. There has been absolutely no sibling rivalry. She has never had any contempt or jealousy for her baby brother. She cares for him and shares with him. Maybe that is just part of her personality. Maybe it is because she didn’t have to give up her One Favorite Thing In The World against her will so that another might have it.

Olivia turned two this past July.

I have been noticing a change in her. She is finding contentment elsewhere. She is drifting into a more affectionate stage in life. When she stubs her toe, a kiss is all she needs. We have only been nursing at naptime and bedtime. And I’ve started The Talk.

“One day soon, sweetheart, you will be a Big Girl, and only Baby will nurse.”

Over and over, day after day, week after week, I talked The Talk. But I hesitated. I waited. I didn’t want to spring it on her.

Hearing “No, sweet girl, you are too old to nurse,” when mere hours before she had been young enough, is a surefire way to a melt down. She had to know it was coming. She had to anticipate the Last One so that she could savor it.

Last Friday was our Last Day of Dursing*.

Stay tuned for Part Two!

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*Dursing (DER-sing): The toddler pronunciation of the word “Nursing.”  It was cute, and it made an appropriate code word for her awkward public announcements.