When we first moved here, and I became a stay-at-home mommy for the first time in my life, I decided I needed to organize my time. So I delegated Mondays for grocery shopping. Tuesdays we would go to the library. Wednesday was for Bible study. Thursday was a free day; I could either squeeze something in that I hadn’t had time for earlier that week, or I could just go have fun at the mall. Friday was cleaning day (luckily, I have an apartment small enough I can clean the whole thing in a morning!).

And so my days were full. Full of Olivia. Full of the exhaustion that pregnancy brings. Full of socializing with other mommies at church or at story hour. Full of shopping. Full of cleaning.

But soon I realized I had left something rather important out of my schedule. I had not deliberately set aside any quiet time with God. Ideally, I had told myself I would take advantage of naptime to devote myself to the study of His word. Instead, I found myself doing odd tasks, relaxing lazily on the couch, or wasting time on the Internet. Time would fly, and just as I guiltily sat down with my Bible, Olivia would wake up.

“Why?” I would ask God. “If you want me to spend time with You, then make her sleep longer!”

And she began to sleep less.

And less.

Soon, she wasn’t sleeping at all.

And the still, small voice that is the Holy Spirit was nudging my heart.

“I do not belong in your ‘left-over’ time.”

“I do not fit in your spare minutes.”

“I demand the firstfruits of your time. Give me the beginning of naptime.”

But God! I have so much to do with that time! What if Olivia does not nap? Then when will I do dishes? When will I clean the bathroom? WHEN WILL I BLOG?!

I did not trust the Almighty with my time. I was afraid He would take all of it and leave none for me.

But that voice – it did not stop. And the guilt – it kept coming. And the naps – they were quickly disappearing. I finally gave in. I gave the Lord the first part of naptime. The time usually spent focused on me was now focused on Him. The time usually spent with my feet up was now spent with my head down. I gave to Him what little I had, with no expectations.

And that day, Olivia took a nap. Oh, what a gift! I was able to study in peace! When I finished, I looked at the clock, and saw an hour had gone by. I expected her up any minute. But I might as well use the time I have – so I started an odd task. When I had finished, she was still sleeping. And this was the girl that would not nap yesterday. Or the day before. So I started another task. She was still asleep when I finished.

And so it went for TWO HOURS.

The Lord rewarded my offering with the desires of my heart. When I gave my time to Him, He gave it back to me. He is faithful. As long as I gave Him the firstfruits of naptime, He gave me the time I needed to be productive, relax, and socialize on instant messenger!

You would think a lesson like that would stick in my brain. You would think that I would be more than willing to give my time to God over and over and over again, remembering His faithfulness to me.

Have you read about the Israelites in the Old Testament? How they would see miracle after miracle performed RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES and then turn from God mere days/weeks/months after? They would form golden calves. They would grumble and complain. They would doubt God’s ability to take the best care of them.

When I read about them, I must admit, I pass judgment on them. I cannot believe that God still insisted on them as His Chosen People. They were so undeserving!

Ahem.

I started slipping away. I used the birth of Benjamin as my excuse. God would surely understand. I have TWO children now. I have so many more demands! My baby is so needy! I must tend to him! I cannot journal, devote my time to God, and nurse at the same time!

At first I did not notice a difference. I thought I was getting away with it. Olivia was still taking extremely lengthy naps.

Ha. I tricked God.

Ahem.

Olivia is not napping anymore. And on top of that? She is not going down at night well either. At first I associated it with the end of dursing (part one; part two). She must be having a delayed reaction. It just took her a week (or two) to realize what had happened. Or maybe it is the Big Girl Bed. The newness must have worn off and she is simply not as excited about sleeping in it any longer.

And those were lies implanted by the enemy to keep me from seeing the Truth.

I knew what God wanted me to do. And I fought it. Same reasons as above – times two now! I deserve TWICE the free time. TWICE the productivity time. TWICE the internet time. Right? Wrong. If anything, I need to give God TWICE the quiet time.

And so, today, with Olivia peeking out of her door, crying to me, refusing to go to bed, I sat at the dining room table and opened my Bible. I put Benjamin on the floor to play and I devoted some time to God. Every now and then, I would glance at Olivia. Her cries grew softer. Her eyes grew heavier.

Finally, I went to her. She turned and crawled into bed. I covered her up. She’s been asleep ever since.

I returned to the table, finished my devotions (just barely) as Benjamin grew fussier and fussier. As I read that last verse, I picked him up, took him to the couch, and put him to sleep. And he’s been out ever since.

That’s right. Two children. Two naps. AT THE SAME TIME. My God is the God of miracles.

Let me never forget how worthy He is of my time.