I worked my way through the automated menu, but nothing matched my needs of a missing power cord for our modem.

After pressing 0 repeatedly, (when the given options were 3 or 4), I finally got a human.  I told her my life story, working in the fact I am missing a power cord and she asked me if there was anything wrong with the modem.  Confused only briefly, I answered that, “Only that it doesn’t work without a power cord.”  Her response to which was to transfer me.

I thanked her and waited until a man answered.  He spoke rapid spanish to me for a full minute before I finally was able to break in with, “If I press one, will you repeat all that in English?”

Turns out he WAS bilingual, though heavily accented and when combined with a room full of noisy children (they kept following me!), that combination took all my mental superpowers but we were able to have a decent conversation.

I told him I was missing the power cord.  Filled him in on the details of our life, such as the fact we were out of state for a few months and the cord was lost in transit.  Also that my favorite color was blue and I have three kids.

I asked him if, since we were paying $5/month to rent this modem and have so far paid for it at least twice, could they please put some of that extra month towards an extra cord for us?

He saw my logic, but said I would have to come in and exchange my modem for a new one.  I thanked him above the din of crazy children (they were in my BEDROOM with me now!  One on my bed, one in my closet, and one attacking the turtle.) but after weighing the options,’taking all three kids out in 11 degree weather to exchange my modem lost.

‘Borrowing the neighbor’s wifi just a tad bit longer’ won.

You probably didn’t need to know all that.  And it probably wasn’t as funny to you as it was to me.  So I’ll end with this:

And then I found a dollar.