(preg-?-?no?i-?): a psychosis characterized by systematized delusions of pregnancy. Symptoms include heartburn, nauseau, and exhaustion. In the worst case scenario, this may last up to two weeks. Preferably, it will last nine months.
(As I try to think of a caption for this, a whole host of pregnancy-heartburn-related quips come to mind. But I’m sure they’re nothing you couldn’t already come up with on your own, so I’ll spare you.) (One more parenthetical interruption...
Hello, and welcome to that glorious day of the week when I get to shamelessly show off how beautiful my children are. My name is Beth, and I’ll be your host this morning. Or whatever time of day it happens to be when you read this. I guess I can’t be...
They can now be employed as dairy cows. You know, so the dairy cows can have a break. At least one Swiss restaurant has developed a new, innovative idea of using breastmilk in their soups, stews, and sauces. They buy the milk from donors. I wonder what the going...
I haven’t written about potty-training in awhile. Because whenever I write or talk about something my child has done that really excites me, they never do it again. At one time, I was able to put an infant Benjamin down in his crib, still mildly awake. When he...
