October 15, 2010 She went about five steps backwards today. What little she ate today came back up. She can’t walk by herself. She just lies on the couch. The hospital bed came today. But she doesn’t want to get in it. I sat by her on the couch and just...
With the huge exception that instead of bringing a new life into the world, you’re preparing to be taken out of it. She’s nesting. My mom has never had the motto, “A place for everything and everything in its place.” She has always been too...
Funny the physical effect emotion can have. I know I still have a heart. I know it still beats. But I feel hollow. Refusing to grieve leaves me cold inside. Especially when reminded of the intensity of the emotion trying to break through. Like when I’m informed...
There are times when a sob will catch me off guard. My throat will close and my eyes will burn. I bite my tongue and swallow my tears. There will be a time to grieve. But I refuse to do so while she still lives. And she does yet live. It’s a weak, anxious,...
We went to our old church this past Sunday. It was the first time we’d been there since we graduated college, I think. It was nice to see everyone. I felt very welcomed and loved. The only painful part was answering the question, “How long are you going to...
